I Write About Feminism

When Strangers Click, a 2011 documentary about online dating.

It reminds me of that famous Margaret Atwood quote: “Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.” It also reminds me of something written by one of the mods of Sex Worker Problems: “Misandry irritates. Misogyny kills.”

I mean, it’s just true.

(via tealeafprincess)

“Misandry irritates. Misogyny kills.”

That’s it.  That’s it right there.

(via oddpicturesoddpeople)

(via grrrl-riot)

thepoliticalfreakshow:

The Culture We Live In, But Shouldn’t: Angelina Jolie Has Double Mastectomy To Prevent Breast Cancer, Certain Male Fans Write About Missing Her Curves [TW: Misogyny, Sexism, Objectification of Women]

Today, Angelina Jolie published a piece in the New York Times about her decision to undergo a preventive double mastectomy last month. As a carrier of a gene mutation called BRCA1, Jolie cut her chances of contracting breast cancer from 87 percent to under 5 percent by undergoing the procedure. I felt so honored to read Jolie’s detailed first-person account of her experience, as well as her advocacy for all the women around the world to gain access to the too-expensive tests and procedures that have empowered her to fight for her own life. Those warm feelings were soon deflated by some of the unexpectedly nasty commentary that pooled around her story. Commenters snarked that Jolie had received a “boob job.” Some suggested that her medical emergency was just a tabloid ruse to cover up elective breast implants. Others morbidly asked after the whereabouts of the breast tissue removed from her body. “RIP Angelina’s boobs” was a typical ignorant comment. Said one commenter on a Jezebel post about the op-ed, “How many guys stopped reading as soon as they realized Angelina Jolie has no breasts—she’s dead to me!”

I’d like to dismiss these commenters as trolls, but their attitudes are unfortunately pervasive in our culture, and they don’t just represent a personal affront to Angelina Jolie, a veteran of such inappropriate body commentary. These comments affect every woman who has undergone a similar procedure—every woman who has overcome the pain, the fear, and the constant and casual reminders that her breasts are more valuable than her life. Really, these comments affect all women who have seen their bodies reduced to mere objects for others to consume. As scholar of the stars Anne Helen Petersen says, “Remember: What we talk about when we talk about celebrities is, as ever, ourselves.” Some of us are not speaking very highly of the women in our lives today.

Jolie, for her part, addressed aesthetic concerns straightforwardly in her op-ed. (She also made a worrisome reference to “wonderful holistic doctors working on alternatives to surgery,” which I can only hope won’t steer readers away from the valid medical treatment they may need). “There have been many advances in this procedure in the last few years, and the results can be beautiful,” Jolie wrote. “On a personal note, I do not feel any less of a woman. I feel empowered that I made a strong choice that in no way diminishes my femininity.” It’s powerful to hear Jolie own this choice as beautiful. But I’d go further to say that, regardless of the aesthetic aftermath of breast cancer surgeries—and the individual choices every woman makes in how to deal with them—the results of these procedures are necessarily and breathtakingly beautiful. Not only does this procedure not diminish a woman’s femininity in any way—it highlights her humanity. As Jolie put it, “Brad was at the Pink Lotus Breast Center, where I was treated, for every minute of the surgeries. We managed to find moments to laugh together. We knew this was the right thing to do for our family and that it would bring us closer. And it has.”

And yet, perversely, some fans feel as if a part of Jolie has been stolen from them. One well-meaning but misguided commenter told me on Twitter yesterday: “Happy to hear she’s giving herself much better odds. As a guy, I will miss her lovely curves though.” (The reconstructive surgery she described presumably restored her curves.) I can tell you from experience that when a person you love makes it through that surgery, they have never looked more lovely. I don’t mean that in a strictly emotional sense—it registers physically, too. The way that they look at you when they wake up. The breaths they take. Their smile. The way they move through space. You don’t miss anything: You are reminded of all of the wonderful things that you are not missing. It’s gorgeous.

infinitetransit:

isn’t it funny that lesbians are presumed to hate men, have turned away from men, or never experienced the ~prowess~ of a man

we’re talking about a preference that actively centers around women and they still try to make it fundamentally about men

(via ishimarupaul)

abortionista:

if u think my constant vocal feminism is annoying imagine how annoying the patriarchy is to me

(via feminist-fury)

bluesigma asked: your blog is awesome but it also kinda makes me want to go around headbutting people because it just kinda exposes all the shitty sexist crap that goes on in the world. also your theme is gorgeous

Thank you!! 

And I definitely agree about all the shitty sexism crap. It’s so depressing! But I figure the more aware of it someone is the more pissed off they get. But what’s great is that that disgust and anger can be used to power really strong, positve, comprehensive and inclusive efforts to change everything that’s wrong. Remember, we’re challenging the system and institution of patriarchy. It’s a huge job. Luckily (in some sense) we have a lot to motivate us.

I once had a guy tell me…

Lies the patriarchy told me

Facebook sexism

Friend Zone Goes in the OED, and Women Give Up Trying to Let You Down Easy

(via lesilencieux)

(Source: Slate, via lesilencieux)

i-once-had-a-guy-tell-me:

I once had a guy tell me “Oh my god, you don’t shave your armpits? literally your only job is to look pretty for us and you can’t even do that”

(submitted by abbreviator)

i-once-had-a-guy-tell-me:

I once had a guy tell me that it doesn’t matter how hard I work in life, and that no matter what I was only going to end up submitting to a man because I was a woman. After I argued with him, he told me he would personally force me to submit to him.

(submitted by anonymous)

i-once-had-a-guy-tell-me:

[TW Rape]

I once had a guy tell me that once you’re married, your sexual organs belong to your husband, so marital rape wasn’t a real thing.

(submitted by anonymous)